How many times did I pray you’d find me… How many wishes on a star Gazing off into the dark Dreaming I’d see your face Safe at home unafraid Captured in your embrace.

To the man who first belive in me, thank you. Thank you for being with me in my journey fo almost a decade. Thank you for lifting me up when I am so down, for telling me that there will be someone who will love and accept me for who I am. Thank you for make me believe that I can pass the trials of my life. And most of all thank you for telling me the wrong things about me.. for being so honest. I know that you are there for me no matter what happen.. your the one who first believe that I can… and i am happy that you are a part of my life. thanks best

For the past two years that I am out if the convent I experienced a lot of struggle in life. Struggles that makes me stronger, I admit that I’ve lost… I choose a path that leads me to be broken once again. But God is a loving God who never abandoned his child. He is still there to show his unfading love.

There was a time that I want to give up, I am so tired of the struggles and pains that I expereienced. But he reminds me that IN HIS TIME, he will put everything to place. I just need to trust him and believe in HIs divine plan for me.

And now I am happy because I had a good relationship with my ate, Our prayer is already answered, the wounds is alredy healed and the love that was kept was expressed.

And i thank God for the simple blessings that he has given me and my family. For the life that He gave and for the people who loves me and I met along my journey.

Why do old lovers can’t be good friends? When I was young I oftentimes hear this line from a song. And i answred it with another question? If they really loved each other no matter what happen they can be good friends… di ba???

And now that I am no longer a kid, and I exprerienced how to love. That is already my question… a question that I can’t answer and accept that it should be that way. A question wihthout an answer.

Before I cant accept it that way, anyway it’s not that easy. I always said that we have shared so many good memories together, we have a good relationship as lovers or even as a friend. How could it happen that we have to neglect all this things when this relationship was ended?

We girls, oftentimes, Do anything and everything just to save the friendship. We try to talk to the person involve. But all we recieve is a negative response. Yes I also did those things, but I was tired. Tired enough to give justifications on why he refused to talk to me or even give a nod. I am tired of hoping that one day we can be friends. Not as a close friend but a simple friend who is there for each other. Tired of waiting for the time that he will stop the cold treatment. Because my life is not ended wit him.

Yes, it is sad.. because afterall we are together, we shared our hopes and dreams with each other. But then it is already a part of the past. There is no more reason for me to hold on.. All I have to do is to continue my life, continue my process of gathering the piesces of my broken and heart and moving on. And now, that I can stand up once again. I accepted that we can’t be friends… We can not bring back the closeness that we have. And he is just a part of my history.