Wedding bells are ringing.. June is coming. A lot of woman will walk down the aisle to say the word "I DO". A lot of couples will have their vows to be with each other "for reacher and for poor, in sickness and in health till death do us part".

Before I used to say I wont get married.. because I want to be a nun. Now as i wrote this entry, i smile and ask my self.. how come i don’t want to get married if i dreamed of having four
kids and be a loving wife? Funny isn’t it?

Now as i grow older… in almost one month time i am turning 25. I found myself with a realization that I want to grow old with someone… Someone whom I can share my hopes, dreams, failures, pains. Someone who will stand by my side, will hold my hand and say.. Andito lang ako, di kita iiwan

Maybe it sounds corny.. and to others they might think that I am a hopelessly romantic person. But then.. this is what I want and what I felt at this moment. Maybe someone will ask me.. if i am in love… but then again like what I’ve said in my last blog entry I am not in love, it’s just someone makes me smile and makes me feel that I am important to Him.

I know that when I say the word I love you, I mean it.. and when I will say the word I DO i will do everything to make that marriage successful. As i quote the lines in one song "this sacred vow I gave to you does not contain an if  though I am aware of trials lies ahead, I will love you and be with I gave my heart and all to you…"
Maybe one day i will walk down the aisle and say I do… and when that day comes. It the start of another chapter in my life… Being a wife and being a mama. And I will make it sure that God will be the center of our family.

I don’t know what would happen next.. but again i just take one step at a time. I know that God will help me to meet the one he prepared for me. And in His time, it will happen.

Best wishes to all of you guys…

Hay.. ewan ko but feeling ko Love is in the Air.. Hindi pa naman talaga ako In love, alam ko lang masaya ko dahil nararamdaman ko na importante ako sa taong importante sa akin.

At sa mga kalahi ko… Try not to invest so much in a relationship na hindi niyo sigurado kung may patutunguhan. I know that we should take the risk.. pero wag naman 100% ang investment ng di kayo malugi. Ng makaya niyong bumangon pag nawala siya.

Hay till next time…

People said that Love is lovelier the second time around….

Last night as I lay down on my bed.. i realized something.. and that realization bring me here.

"kung sakaling magmamahal akong muli, at may magiging problema sa relasyon namin. Ipaglalaban ko na ito, dahil ayoko ng mabuhay sa "what if" and "if Only". Nakakapagod ng isipin at sagutin ang tanong na paano kaya kung ipinaglaban ko.. naging masaya kaya kami pareho? Natupad kaya ang mga pangarap namin?" those are the two questions that linger in my mind in the past.

But now I can feel that I am free and my heart is ready to fall in love again… kung sino at nasan siya hindi ko alam.. Maybe a lot of people will say.. talaga lang because maybe they know that I am afraid to fall in love again. Because I can no longer bear the pain of loosing the one I love. But then I realized that I should set my self free.. and it’s time for me to open my heart once again. Time just passes by and I loose all the chances to meet the one that God gave me.

It is early for me to say that I found him… I still have fear with this feelings that I have for Him. I really don’t where it’s going… all I know is that I am happy every time that we talk. Every time he gives time to talk to me, through chat. umaga sa kanila pero he still spends time talking to me. Sharing all his dreams and plans. Talking about anything under the sun. Even our own problems and pains. Like what I’ve said it is too early to say that He is the one. All i know for now is that I am happy ‘coz I have a new found friend in Him. Kung saan man dalhin ang friendship namin. God knows what’s next. Pero sana lang magawa ko pa ring masanay na wala siya sa tabi ko para mawala man siya. Kaya ko pa ring tumayo... but then I decided to conquer my fear.. The fear of being hurt and rejected after all the efforts that I gave.

To you my friend.. thanks.. welcome HOME.

When Jesus died on the cross, we are sure that He will resurrect for us. That He will save us from our sin, He gave each one of us the chance to be with HIM on his resurrection. But most of us (unconsciously) choose to stay in the darkness, the feeling of loss, pain, bitterness and un-forgiveness. Because we still HOLD-On with the past. Past memories, hurts and pains that became the hindrance to forgive and to MOVE ON.

I know that it is not easy to move on.. It’s not easy to forgive, that is also my dilemma. But last Wednesday after I talk to a friend priest, I don’t know how God works in me. But he open my mind and my heart for forgiveness… to the people who hurt me and to my self.

Then i felt that I die on my own self… I die with Christ. After that I attended the mass… and Fr. Chavz said.. "forgive the people who betray and hurt you, ask forgiveness to those people that you betray and pray". Right then I realized the importance of Forgiveness. Chirst forgive, Judas and Peter and gave them another chance. And we can also forgive if we will ask God to guide us and gave us the grace of forgiveness.

And when I fully let go of my pain and burden.. i feel the pain.. but then He also make me feel the happiness, peace and serenity when I embrace my new found life… with HIM. As of now, I just lift everything to God.. I have my fears but I can counquer it for God is with me