Honestly.. I don’t know if I am in the
position to write an article about this.. Calling! Because as of this
moment I am still asking where I am going to… Am I going back to the
convent or am I going to search my life here.. in this cruel world. At
night, or even when I am alone in my office. I ask myself.. Dhia, what
do you really want?  You’re still young but then your also getting old.
Time passes by and maybe one day you will wake up that your old enough
and you didn’t choose anything. Because your always afraid to take the
risk of choosing which path you’re going to take.

I know and
acknowledge that there’s an emptiness within me…. that leads me to
silence. To give time to listen to the voice of God. God is a very
loving God. I remember one morning during our conversation. He said "dhia, hindi sila ang magdedesisyon para sa sarili mo. Ikaw ang mamimili ng buhay na tatahakin mo". And this reminder helps me to realized that Yes, it’s me who will choose which path i should take.

It’s
easy to say I will follow you… but it’s not easy to choose which path
your going to take…. Because you need to die on your own self.
It’s
not easy to say Yes Lord.. Here I am I am giving you all my life,
because it’s not easy to give your life to all knowing God… because
we always want to know what will happen tomorrow. But when you follow
HIM, you need to trust him COMPLETELY.. he knows everything but he
won’t tell you anything.. until the right time comes.

For now…
i will just listen to the voice withing.. I will listen to the voice of
God with the prayers that He will lead me to a right decision. To
choose the right path.. and follow his will.

Again, I might not
be the one who is the position to write this article.. because I am
still searching, but then. I want to share what I am going through. And
please do pray for me.

"Do not be afraid I am wit you, I have
called each you by name. Come and follow me I will bring you hope, I
love you and you are mine."

- dhia