MaMa’S GIRL…. yan ang bansag sa akin ng mga taong close sa akin… those people who see me when I am with my mama. I remember when i was a little girl… everytime my mama went to her office i really cry out loud and call her. i want to go with her, even if it is school days. My classmates teased me… mama’s girl. When she is on her duty (as a med tech) or in seminar (out of town/country) at night i sleep with her clothes (malibag niya) ‘coz i cant sleep without her smell. gusto ko lagi kong naamoy ang mama ko.

At the age of 22 katabi pa rin akong matulog ng mama ko, the detachment with my mama starts when i enter the convent.  And i am so happy adn proud to say that i make it. September last year when my mother got her first stroke, i was in the convent and preparing my self for the emmersion in bagong silangan. Right there and then i decide to leave the convent to be with my mama. I said "bata pa naman ako, kung talagang sa pagmamadre ako, doon ako, at gagawa ang Diyos ng paraan para makabalik ako pero ngayon dito muna ako sa pamilya ko". 

May 03,2006 when my mama left for a vacation in Canada and U.S., for almost three months i leave my life without my mama beside me and i do really miss her. Mahirap ang mabuhay ng walang ina… wala kang matakbuhan pag may problema ka… mapagkuwntuhan kung masaya ka… susuporta sa iyo sa lahat ng oras."  And now that she’s going back i am going to be with my mama… I am so happy… and want to be with her till she was so old.

love you mama

Love…

     The most beautiful gift that anyone can give to somebody… unconditional love that’s what we want to give… loving without expecting anything in return, just giving and giving… but in our time it’s really hard to find that unconditonal love. Because what we want know is to see the result of what we give. We wont take the risk of loving someone just to found out that it’s only you who give the love… it’s only you who sacrifice… it’s only you and you do it on your own.

to love is to take the risk… means dying of oneself, because allowing yourself to love is accepting the big fact that you might hurt… but then it’s better to take the risk of falling in love than to see yourself alone.. and there is a big part of your self that is empty… simply because you dont know how to love… and you’ll be bitter because you live your life on the questions "what if and if only".

i remember a friend of mine who told me.. take the risk of being in love because it will make your life complete. and i did it.. yes i get hurt but it makes me a better person… i know that one moment in my life… someone makes my life complete… he’s not with me anymore but he change my life… he make’s me a better person… and now i know i am willing to take the risk of falling in love again… ‘coz i want to be complete…

Moving on… the hardest part in life…but then after so long i realized that moving on entails a big part on me… if i dwell on the memory of the past i cant let go and i will just stay bitter. I will always dwell on the questions "what if" and "if only". and i can’t answer this two questions and it will makes me sad  and then i can’t do anything but to accept the reality that everything is over.

june 08, 2006 when i fully realized that i should not dwell in the past…. that i should continue to move on and see the beauty of life after the storm. Mourning is good but if it takes all of your time and makes your life miserable.. get up and realized that you can not bring back the past.. instead it leads you to lost the time and spend your most precious time into nothing. Letting go needs a big push in our part… and if we let go of someone we love because he/she will be happy with someone else… go on.. do it… it’s hurt! but seeing someone you love happy makes you smile because deep within you know that your also the reason why he/she is happy! simply because you just … LET GO.

mother nature…

ang ganda! yan ang napatunayan ko matapos kong magpunta ng mindanao…. ang yaman ng kalikasan at doon ko napatunayan ang kagandahan ng mundong ating ginagalawan… sana nga lang ay maalagaan nating mga taong upang sa gayon ay makita pa ng mga susunod na heneresyon.