there are billion of people around the world who is looking for their hapinness in material things, power and wordly matters without even realizing that the only thing that they are looking for is LOVE. like anybody else i realized that i am also looking for love, not because no body loves me. but because i realized that i am so tired that i am always on the pedestal.. the safe place… i am just a friend. before i always said that it is better for me to be on the pedestal than being with the arms of the one i love but now knowing until when. i always want to be on the safe place, i am a friend and no matter what happen he will count on me… the girlfriend will be lost but not me because i am a friend.

but i am just a friend… not the one he loves, not his priority… last night i even ask my bestfriend… what’s wrong with me…"mahirap ba akong mahalin". and he said "hindi pinipigilan mo lang silang ipakita na mahal ka nila". and he’s right… i am looking for love but then i am afraid to be hurt by someone.

well that is the irony of love… and now i know that somebody makes me smile but i dont even know if he feels the same…natatakot na kasi akong umasa, dahil mahirap umasa ng walang aasahan".

I hope one day i will find myself.. free from the fears that i have right now… i just need a big push on my part…. love is taking the risk and i hope that i can take the risk again… to be happy.